Coronablog
This blog is a forum for Probus members to air their views on the current situation with news, anecdotes,funny happenings, jokes, photos and anything else you think will keep members amused while we are confined. Escape stories are particularly welcome. Send your articles to Howard Goslyn at [email protected]. Bloggers can be anonymous if they request to be . Howard will post your blogs on this site.
Sad News from Almoner Martin Thomas
"Andrew Reynolds called earlier to let me know that his wife Diana passed away at 6am this morning (18th April 2020). Diana had been admitted to Churchill House care home recently."
New info from Chairman Frank regarding the Food Bank below
Should any Members wish to donate to the Ludlow Food bank they can do this by Bank transfer to the Ludlow Baptist Church, ref: Food BankBank details are Sort Code: 40 30 30, Account No. 41 27 63 87. They are running short of food.
NB Chairman Frank has sent the following request:
I gather that this virus is making it difficult for the Ludlow Food
Bank to receive food parcels from the public. I think it would be a good
idea to post an appeal for this charity on our Coronablog with a link to
their website.(see below HG)
Ludlow Foodbank
The food bank in Ludlow is housed in Ludlow Baptist Church, but is supported by all the churches in Ludlow.
They give food parcels to people in crisis situations, who are referred to them.
The contact phone number is 07896 706 189.
They have volunteers on duty 11a.m. - 1p.m. Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, when agency workers or parcel recipients can collect their parcels.
They do not offer an automatic delivery service, but parcels can be delivered by special arrangement.
Address: Ludlow Baptist Church, Rockspring Community Centre, Sandford Road, Ludlow, SY8 1SX
Email [email protected]
Website www.ludlowbaptistchurch.org.uk/our-church/foodbank
PS The Club has donated £200.00
Secretary Barry has written
Dear All
I thought you might be interested in this:
I have a friend who lives just along the lane from me and is a Consultant Anesthetist at Worcs NHS Trust. As a sideline/hobby(!) she also goes out on emergencies wth the Air Ambulance.
If you look at the video in the link:
www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/hundreds-volunteer-sew-scrubs-frontline-18061226
you will see my friend Nageena asking for help with scrubs. Perhaps some of you know of a willing sewer.
NB A very informative letter has been sent to NHS staff at Princess of Wales hospital regarding virus recognition and protection advice. The letter has been sent to me by Martin Thomas and as it is comprehensive I have posted it in Annals for 2020 dated 26th March
From Paul Rogerson who says "Now this is interesting and nobody took any notice of him."
A poem by Spike Milligan from Barry Treves
SMILE
Smiling is infectious,
You catch it like the 'flu,
When someone smiled at me today,
I started smiling too.
I passed around a corner,
And someone saw my grin,
When he smiled, I realised,
I'd passed it on to him.
I thought about that smile,
And then I realised its worth,
A single smile, just like mine,
Could travel round the earth.
So, if you feel a smile begin,
Don't leave it undetected,
Let's start an epidemic quick,
And get the world infected!
From Ex-Chairman Kit Smith
As I go walking alone and isolated each early morning I have reverted to my first childhood and I play “I Spy”.
On long trips to the west country from Cambridge my parents in desperation got us to play I Spy which usually managed to prevent civil war in the car until after seeing the sea and “ are we nearly there”
For the past week I have logged the different birds singing or seen. The most I have got to in the 45 minute walk is 17.
Can anyone beat that and what are the birds?
SMILE
Smiling is infectious,
You catch it like the 'flu,
When someone smiled at me today,
I started smiling too.
I passed around a corner,
And someone saw my grin,
When he smiled, I realised,
I'd passed it on to him.
I thought about that smile,
And then I realised its worth,
A single smile, just like mine,
Could travel round the earth.
So, if you feel a smile begin,
Don't leave it undetected,
Let's start an epidemic quick,
And get the world infected!
From Ex-Chairman Kit Smith
As I go walking alone and isolated each early morning I have reverted to my first childhood and I play “I Spy”.
On long trips to the west country from Cambridge my parents in desperation got us to play I Spy which usually managed to prevent civil war in the car until after seeing the sea and “ are we nearly there”
For the past week I have logged the different birds singing or seen. The most I have got to in the 45 minute walk is 17.
Can anyone beat that and what are the birds?
Cartoon from Chairman Frank
From Martin THomas
From Paul Rogerson
Rugby tickets
England v Wales Saturday 7th March 2020 Twickenham Stadium, London. Kick off 4.45pm
This may be of interest to one of you. A friend of mine has two tickets in a corporate box for England v Wales. He paid £300 each, but he didn't realise when he bought them months ago that it was going to be the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.
It's at Marylebone Registry Office, at 4.30pm. The bride's name is Nicole -- she's 5'4", about 8 stone, quite pretty, has her own income and is a really good cook.
Rugby tickets
England v Wales Saturday 7th March 2020 Twickenham Stadium, London. Kick off 4.45pm
This may be of interest to one of you. A friend of mine has two tickets in a corporate box for England v Wales. He paid £300 each, but he didn't realise when he bought them months ago that it was going to be the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.
It's at Marylebone Registry Office, at 4.30pm. The bride's name is Nicole -- she's 5'4", about 8 stone, quite pretty, has her own income and is a really good cook.
Sent by Martin Thomas
From Colin Kelcey via Martin Thomas
From Barry Treves
Rev Eli Jenkins' Prayer - Dylan Thomas (from Under Milk Wood)
Every morning when I wake,
Dear Lord, a little prayer I make,
O please do keep Thy lovely eye
On all poor creatures born to die
And every evening at sun-down
I ask a blessing on the town,
For whether we last the night or no
I'm sure is always touch-and-go.
We are not wholly bad or good
Who live our lives under Milk Wood,
And Thou, I know, wilt be the first
To see our best side, not our worst.
O let us see another day!
Bless us all this night, I pray,
And to the sun we all will bow
And say, good-bye - but just for now!*
*We hope!!!!
Rev Eli Jenkins' Prayer - Dylan Thomas (from Under Milk Wood)
Every morning when I wake,
Dear Lord, a little prayer I make,
O please do keep Thy lovely eye
On all poor creatures born to die
And every evening at sun-down
I ask a blessing on the town,
For whether we last the night or no
I'm sure is always touch-and-go.
We are not wholly bad or good
Who live our lives under Milk Wood,
And Thou, I know, wilt be the first
To see our best side, not our worst.
O let us see another day!
Bless us all this night, I pray,
And to the sun we all will bow
And say, good-bye - but just for now!*
*We hope!!!!
From Martin Thomas
From Paul Rogerson
From Bary Treves
From Colin Kelcey
"One of my American colleagues has been part of team developing on line Covid 19 'Symptom Evaluator’ resource.
Whist this is an American developed resource - it does apply universally (you can input your appropriate country and postcode/zip code).
It’s an extremely good diagnostic indicator - while its obviously not infallible - I think there is currently nothing approaching it as a reliable indicator."
(I tried this site and it is easy to use. Ed.)
Type or copy into web box. http://c19check.com/start
"One of my American colleagues has been part of team developing on line Covid 19 'Symptom Evaluator’ resource.
Whist this is an American developed resource - it does apply universally (you can input your appropriate country and postcode/zip code).
It’s an extremely good diagnostic indicator - while its obviously not infallible - I think there is currently nothing approaching it as a reliable indicator."
(I tried this site and it is easy to use. Ed.)
Type or copy into web box. http://c19check.com/start
From Paul Rogerson
If you like Country Music you will like this
If you like Country Music you will like this
From Howard Goslyn "Lockdown? Art got there first!
From Barry Treves "A sign of Summer - Slow worms Now joined by Grass snake (A very active compost heap Barry)
From Paul Rogerson
From Clayton Lee
From Clayton Lee via Chairman Frank (Very peaceful to the sound of Nana Mouskouri singing "A Place in my Heart". Ed.)
From Clayton Lee
From Colin Kelcey
From Howard Goslyn
Pam Ayers
I'm normally a social girl I love to meet my mates
But lately with the virus here We can't go out the gates.
You see, we are the 'oldies' now We need to stay inside
If they haven't seen us for a while They'll think we've upped and died.
They'll never know the things we did Before we got this old
There wasn't any Facebook So not everything was told.
We may seem sweet old ladies Who would never be uncouth
But we grew up in the 60s - If you only knew the truth!
There was sex and drugs and rock 'n roll The pill and miniskirts
We smoked, we drank, we partied And were quite outrageous flirts.
Then we settled down, got married And turned into someone's mum,
Somebody's wife, then nana, Who on earth did we become?
We didn't mind the change of pace Because our lives were full
But to bury us before we're dead Is like a red rag to a bull!
So here you find me stuck inside For 4 weeks, maybe more
I finally found myself again Then I had to close the door!
It didn’t really bother me I'd while away the hour
I'd bake for all the family But I've got no flaming flour!
Now Netflix is just wonderful I like a gutsy thriller
I'm swooning over Idris Or some random sexy killer.
At least I've got a stash of booze For when I'm being idle
There's wine and whiskey, even gin If I'm feeling suicidal!
So let's all drink to lockdown To recovery and health
And hope this awful virus Doesn't decimate our wealth.
We'll all get through the crisis And be back to join our mates
Just hoping I'm not far too wide To fit through the flaming gates!
Pam Ayers
I'm normally a social girl I love to meet my mates
But lately with the virus here We can't go out the gates.
You see, we are the 'oldies' now We need to stay inside
If they haven't seen us for a while They'll think we've upped and died.
They'll never know the things we did Before we got this old
There wasn't any Facebook So not everything was told.
We may seem sweet old ladies Who would never be uncouth
But we grew up in the 60s - If you only knew the truth!
There was sex and drugs and rock 'n roll The pill and miniskirts
We smoked, we drank, we partied And were quite outrageous flirts.
Then we settled down, got married And turned into someone's mum,
Somebody's wife, then nana, Who on earth did we become?
We didn't mind the change of pace Because our lives were full
But to bury us before we're dead Is like a red rag to a bull!
So here you find me stuck inside For 4 weeks, maybe more
I finally found myself again Then I had to close the door!
It didn’t really bother me I'd while away the hour
I'd bake for all the family But I've got no flaming flour!
Now Netflix is just wonderful I like a gutsy thriller
I'm swooning over Idris Or some random sexy killer.
At least I've got a stash of booze For when I'm being idle
There's wine and whiskey, even gin If I'm feeling suicidal!
So let's all drink to lockdown To recovery and health
And hope this awful virus Doesn't decimate our wealth.
We'll all get through the crisis And be back to join our mates
Just hoping I'm not far too wide To fit through the flaming gates!
From Colin Kelcey
From Barry Treves
From Paul Rogerson
From Barry Treves (So that was what they did with the toilet rolls?)
From Clayton Lee (Don't watch this if you have no head for heights)
From Paul Rogerson This is Amira Willinghagen (She won the Holland's Got Talent Show Ed.)
From Clayton Lee
Natures Variety
From Martin Thomas (A new take on Nessun Dorma)
From Paul Rogerson
"First time I heard about paraprosdokians, I liked them. Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous. (Winston Churchill loved them)."
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify..." I answered, "a doctor."
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
"First time I heard about paraprosdokians, I liked them. Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous. (Winston Churchill loved them)."
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify..." I answered, "a doctor."
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
From Martin Thomas
This was written by a black gentleman in Texas and is so funny. What a great sense of humour, and creative!!!
...
When U Black, U Black! When I was born, I was BLACK When I grew up, I was BLACK
When I went in the sun, I stayed BLACK When I got cold, I was BLACK When I was scared, I was BLACK
When I was sick, I was BLACK And when I die, I’ll still be BLACK
NOW, you 'white' folks.. .. .
When you’re born, you're PINK When you grow up, you’re WHITE When you go in the sun, you get RED
When you’re cold, you turn BLUE When you’re scared, you're YELLOW When you get sick, you’re GREEN
When you bruise, you turn PURPLE And when you die, you look GREY
So why y'all be calling us
COLORED folk??
Martin says "watch this video 'till the end"
From Paul Rogerson
If anyone knows the story behind the docking malfunction email me and I will let everyone know Ed.
Boris using Jamacian patois
From Colin Kelcey
rom Mike Wise via Martin Thomas
A real miracle - from WW II.........
B-17 "All American" (414th Squadron, 97BG) Crew
Pilot- Ken Bragg Jr. Co-pilot- G Boyd Jr. Navigator- Harry C. Nuessle Bombardier- Ralph Burbridge. Engineer- Joe C. James. RadioOperator-Paul A. Galloway. Ball Turret Gunner- Elton Conda. Waist Gunner- Michael Zu. Tail Gunner- Sam T. Sarpolus. Ground Crew Chief- Hank Hyland.
In 1943 a mid-air collision on February 1, 1943, between a B-17 and a German fighter over the Tunis dock area, became the subject of one of the most famous photographs of WW II. An enemy fighter attacking a 97th Bomb Group formation went out of control, probably with a wounded pilot, then continued its crashing descent into the rear of the fuselage of a Flying Fortress named"All American", piloted by Lt. Kendrick R. Bragg, of the 414th Bomb Squadron. When it struck, the fighter broke apart, but left some pieces in the B-17. The left horizontal stabilizer of the Fortress and left elevator were completely torn away. The two right engines were out and one on the left had a serious oil pump leak. The vertical fin and the rudder had been damaged, The fuselage had been cut almost completely through connected only at two small parts of the frame, and the radios, electrical and oxygen systems were damaged. There was also a hole in the top that was over 16-feet long and 4 feet wide at its widest; The split in the fuselage went all the way to the top gunner's turret.
Although the tail actually bounced and swayed in the wind and twisted when the plane turned and all the control cables were severed, except one single elevator cable still worked, and the aircraft miraculously still flew!
The tail gunner was trapped because there was no floor connecting the tail to the rest of the plane. The waist and tail gunners used parts of the German fighter and their own parachute harnesses in an attempt to keep the tail from ripping off and the two sides of the fuselage from splitting apart. While the crew was trying to keep the bomber from coming apart, the pilot continued on his bomb run and released his bombs over the target.
When the bomb bay doors were opened, the wind turbulence was so great that it blew one of the waist gunners into the broken tail section. It took several minutes and four crew members to pass him ropes from parachutes and haul him back into the forward part of the plane. When they tried to do the same for the tail gunner, the tail began flapping so hard that it began to break off. The weight of the gunner was adding some stability to the tail section, so he went back to his position.
The turn back toward England had to be very slow to keep the tail from twisting off. They actually covered almost 70 miles to make the turn home. The bomber was so badly damaged that it was losing altitude and speed and was soon alone in the sky. For a brief time, two more Me-109 German fighters attacked the All American. Despite the extensive damage, all of the machine gunners were able to respond to these attacks and soon drove off the fighters. The two waist gunners stood up with their heads sticking out through the hole in the top of the fuselage to aim and fire their machine guns.The tail gunner had to shoot in short bursts because the recoil was actually causing the plane to turn.
Allied P-51 fighters intercepted the All American as it crossed over the Channel and took one of the pictures shown. They also radioed to the base describing that the appendage was waving like a fish tail and that the plane would not make it and to send out boats to rescue the crew when they bailed out. The fighters stayed with the Fortress, taking hand signals from Lt. Bragg and relaying them to the base. Lt. Bragg signaled that 5 parachutes and the spare had been "used" so five of the crew could not bail out. He made the decision that if they could not bail out safely, then he would stay with the plane to land it. Two and a half hours after being hit, the aircraft made its final turn to line up with the runway while it was still over 40 miles away. It descended into an emergency landing and a normal roll-out on its landing gear.
When the ambulance pulled alongside, it was waved off because not a single member of the crew had been injured. No one could believe that the aircraft could still fly in such a condition. The Fortress sat placidly until the crew all exited through the door in the fuselage and the tail gunner had climbed down a ladder, at which time the entire rear section of the aircraft collapsed.
This old bird had done its job and brought the entire crew home safely
A real miracle - from WW II.........
B-17 "All American" (414th Squadron, 97BG) Crew
Pilot- Ken Bragg Jr. Co-pilot- G Boyd Jr. Navigator- Harry C. Nuessle Bombardier- Ralph Burbridge. Engineer- Joe C. James. RadioOperator-Paul A. Galloway. Ball Turret Gunner- Elton Conda. Waist Gunner- Michael Zu. Tail Gunner- Sam T. Sarpolus. Ground Crew Chief- Hank Hyland.
In 1943 a mid-air collision on February 1, 1943, between a B-17 and a German fighter over the Tunis dock area, became the subject of one of the most famous photographs of WW II. An enemy fighter attacking a 97th Bomb Group formation went out of control, probably with a wounded pilot, then continued its crashing descent into the rear of the fuselage of a Flying Fortress named"All American", piloted by Lt. Kendrick R. Bragg, of the 414th Bomb Squadron. When it struck, the fighter broke apart, but left some pieces in the B-17. The left horizontal stabilizer of the Fortress and left elevator were completely torn away. The two right engines were out and one on the left had a serious oil pump leak. The vertical fin and the rudder had been damaged, The fuselage had been cut almost completely through connected only at two small parts of the frame, and the radios, electrical and oxygen systems were damaged. There was also a hole in the top that was over 16-feet long and 4 feet wide at its widest; The split in the fuselage went all the way to the top gunner's turret.
Although the tail actually bounced and swayed in the wind and twisted when the plane turned and all the control cables were severed, except one single elevator cable still worked, and the aircraft miraculously still flew!
The tail gunner was trapped because there was no floor connecting the tail to the rest of the plane. The waist and tail gunners used parts of the German fighter and their own parachute harnesses in an attempt to keep the tail from ripping off and the two sides of the fuselage from splitting apart. While the crew was trying to keep the bomber from coming apart, the pilot continued on his bomb run and released his bombs over the target.
When the bomb bay doors were opened, the wind turbulence was so great that it blew one of the waist gunners into the broken tail section. It took several minutes and four crew members to pass him ropes from parachutes and haul him back into the forward part of the plane. When they tried to do the same for the tail gunner, the tail began flapping so hard that it began to break off. The weight of the gunner was adding some stability to the tail section, so he went back to his position.
The turn back toward England had to be very slow to keep the tail from twisting off. They actually covered almost 70 miles to make the turn home. The bomber was so badly damaged that it was losing altitude and speed and was soon alone in the sky. For a brief time, two more Me-109 German fighters attacked the All American. Despite the extensive damage, all of the machine gunners were able to respond to these attacks and soon drove off the fighters. The two waist gunners stood up with their heads sticking out through the hole in the top of the fuselage to aim and fire their machine guns.The tail gunner had to shoot in short bursts because the recoil was actually causing the plane to turn.
Allied P-51 fighters intercepted the All American as it crossed over the Channel and took one of the pictures shown. They also radioed to the base describing that the appendage was waving like a fish tail and that the plane would not make it and to send out boats to rescue the crew when they bailed out. The fighters stayed with the Fortress, taking hand signals from Lt. Bragg and relaying them to the base. Lt. Bragg signaled that 5 parachutes and the spare had been "used" so five of the crew could not bail out. He made the decision that if they could not bail out safely, then he would stay with the plane to land it. Two and a half hours after being hit, the aircraft made its final turn to line up with the runway while it was still over 40 miles away. It descended into an emergency landing and a normal roll-out on its landing gear.
When the ambulance pulled alongside, it was waved off because not a single member of the crew had been injured. No one could believe that the aircraft could still fly in such a condition. The Fortress sat placidly until the crew all exited through the door in the fuselage and the tail gunner had climbed down a ladder, at which time the entire rear section of the aircraft collapsed.
This old bird had done its job and brought the entire crew home safely
From Paul Rogerson
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats..
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food..
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair..
7) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
8) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It is like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
From Colin Kelcey
From Paul Rogerson
From Colin Kelcey Colin says "the video was made by Rhiannon, a colleague mine as part of of a mini series on common ‘Neuro Myths’"
From Clayton Lee
From Colin Kelcey
From Martin Thomas
From Mike Wise via Martin Thomas